Forgive Me, I Meant to Do It Read online

which

  you had precariously

  perched on

  for centuries

  Forgive me

  all the king’s horses

  and all the king’s men

  were bored

  This Is Just to Say

  By feeling inside

  your right snow boot

  I located

  your diary

  which

  you moronically

  left

  where anyone could find it

  Forgive me

  a year’s allowance

  and your college fund

  will buy my silence

  This Is Just to Say

  The principal

  may mention

  my science project

  in a phone call

  which

  could conceivably

  threaten expulsion

  and marks on my permanent record

  Forgive me

  I proved my hypothesis

  blood is thicker

  than water

  This Is Just to Say

  I gagged

  your little brother

  and tied him up

  at school

  after

  you clearly

  said what a brat

  he is

  Forgive me

  I can’t remember

  which locker

  I stuffed him in

  This Is Just to Say

  I have torn

  down

  the water

  spout

  which

  you obsessively

  wanted to climb up

  and slide off forever

  Forgive me

  kick your habit

  spin a web

  catch a bug

  This Is Just to Say

  From one cup of organic tomatoes

  one tarantula

  and two tablespoons of ants

  I cooked a stew

  which

  you gluttonously

  devoured

  then licked the bowl

  Forgive me

  you are

  what

  you eat

  This Is Just to Say

  I pushed

  your boat

  out of the gentle

  stream

  where

  you were merrily

  singing

  and rowing

  Forgive me

  life

  is but

  a nightmare

  This Is Just to Say

  I already knew

  the pea

  was under

  the mattresses

  which

  helped immeasurably

  in faking

  the true princess test

  Forgive me

  I am a true

  evil

  enchantress

  This Is Just to Say

  The moment

  it fell off

  I snatched

  the glass slipper

  which

  would gloriously

  have led you

  to Cinderella

  Forgive me

  I am one-legged

  was shoeless

  size 3½

  This Is Just to Say

  I have found

  seventeen

  cavities

  in your teeth

  which

  you sincerely

  wish

  were not there

  Forgive me

  my drill is ready

  and I

  am in a bad mood

  This Is Just to Say

  You have reached

  the last

  of these poems

  although

  you likely

  preferred strep throat

  to reading them

  Forgive me

  I wrote

  every one

  especially for you

  About the Author and Illustrator

  Gail Carson Levine thinks she can write poetry. Forgive her; the doctors say she’ll be sane again soon. She was born in New York City and shares a birthday with William Carlos Williams. Her first book for children, ELLA ENCHANTED, won a Newbery Honor. Gail’s other books include A TALE OF TWO CASTLES; the New York Times bestsellers EVER and FAIREST; DAVE AT NIGHT, an ALA Notable Book and Best Book for Young Adults; THE WISH; THE TWO PRINCESSES OF BAMARRE; and the six Princess Tales books. She is also the author of the nonfiction book WRITING MAGIC: Creating Stories That Fly and the picture books BETSY WHO CRIED WOLF and BETSY RED HOODIE, both illustrated by Scott Nash. Gail and her husband, David, live in the Hudson Valley of New York State. You can visit her online at www.gailcarsonlevine.com.

  Matthew Cordell spilled a whole bottle of ink while drawing this book. Forgive him, white carpet is painfully boring. Matthew lives in the suburbs of Chicago with his wife, writer Julie Halpern, and their daughter, Romy. He is the author and illustrator of TROUBLE GUM and the illustrator of TOOT TOOT ZOOM!, MIGHTY CASEY, RIGHTY AND LEFTY, and TOBY AND THE SNOWFLAKES, which was written by his wife. You can visit him online at www.matthewcordell.com.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  Also by Gail Carson Levine

  Dave at Night

  Ella Enchanted

  Ever

  Fairest

  A Tale of Two Castles

  The Two Princesses of Bamarre

  The Wish

  THE PRINCESS TALES

  The Fairy’s Return and Other Princess Tales (Collection)

  The Fairy’s Mistake

  The Princess Test

  Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep

  Cinderellis and the Glass Hill

  For Biddle’s Sake

  The Fairy’s Return

  Betsy Red Hoodie

  Betsy Who Cried Wolf

  Writing Magic: Creating Stories That Fly

  Back Ad

  Credits

  Cover art © 2012 by Matthew Cordell

  Cover design by Martha Rago

  Copyright

  “This Is Just to Say” by William Carlos Williams, from The Collected Poems:

  Volume I, 1909–1939, copyright © 1938 by New Directions Publishing Corp.

  Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.

  Forgive Me, I Meant to Do It: False Apology Poems

  Text copyright © 2012 by Gail Carson Levine

  Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Matthew Cordell

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  www.harpercollinschildrens.com

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Levine, Gail Carson.

  Forgive me, I meant to do it : false apology poems / by Gail Carson Levine ; illustrated by Matthew Cordell. — 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-0-06-178725-6 (trade bdg.)

  ISBN 978-0-06-178726-3 (lib. bdg.)

  EPUB Edition AUGUST 2013 ISBN 9780062253538

  1. Children’s poetry, American. 2. Humorous poetry, American. I. Title.

  PS3562.E8965T47 2012

  2009023978

  811’.54—dc22

  CIP

  AC

  12 13 14 15 16 LP/RRDC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  FIRST EDITION

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